Zuko is Retarded
by diet otaku
Summary: Written shortly after the Season 2 finale, Zuko's behavior is finally explained...


"I think we lost them," Sokka said, peering around a corner. He turned to make sure everyone was still present: Aang, Katara, Toph... Iroh... ZUKO...

"We need to keep moving if we're going to make it to safety without being spotted," Iroh said. The group nodded and followed him through the narrow sidestreets and alleyways of the Fire Nation capital. Their escape was somewhat delayed, however, as Iroh had to periodically stop and retrieve Zuko, who was usually peering curiously at some shiny object along the way. When the group reached the outskirts of the city, they took cover in a densely wooded area.

"I have to apologize for my nephew," Iroh said, glancing at Zuko. "He's a bit... slow."

"We noticed," Sokka replied flatly.

"Uncle, look! MUSHROOMS!" Zuko exclaimed, and began stuffing brightly colored fungi into his mouth. Iroh slapped Zuko's hand and began digging the partially chewed vegetation out of his nephew's mouth with his index finger.

"ZUKO! What have I told you about eating strange plants without asking me first?" Iroh scolded. Zuko's lower lip trembled and his right eye welled up with tears.

"I'm... I'm sorry, Uncle..." he squeaked out before unleashing a wail to wake the dead. Iroh clapped his hands over Zuko's mouth.

"Again, I really must apologize," Iroh addressed the rest of the gang. Aang waved dismissively.

"It's okay. He can't help it," Aang responded, standing and approaching Zuko. "Can you, Zuko?" Zuko sniffled noisily and shook his head. "I know what will cheer you up..." Aang reached inside his shirt and pulled out a handful of marbles, spinning them above his open palm with airbending. Zuko shrieked and clapped his hands gleefully.

"SHINIES!" he exclaimed, reaching for the marbles. Aang swiftly cupped his hands over them and tucked them back into his shirt. Zuko pouted.

"I hate to break up the party," Katara interrupted, "but we should get ready for bed. We need our rest if we're going to keep moving in the morning." Everyone nodded and began making their beds. With a swift thrust of her fists, Toph erected an earth tent. Sokka put up the tent, and tossed the tarp inside. Katara glared at him and he sullenly withdrew it and placed it over the tent. The siblings rolled out their sleeping bags inside the tent. Aang airbended Appa's saddle to the ground and curled up in the folds of his companion's fur. Iroh was attempting to get Zuko into his pajamas.

The elder firebender had withdrawn a one-piece flannel garment with footies from Zuko's knapsack. He sat Zuko on the ground and began inching his pants down his legs, while Zuko shrieked and giggled and kicked his feet, often hitting Iroh in the face. When Iroh finally got the footies on, he turned to put Zuko's pants in his knapsack. Zuko took this opportunity to jump to his feet and run around the campsite with his pajamas around his ankles. The assembled party, Toph excluded, cried out at the sight, shielding their eyes. Toph wondered what all the fuss was about. Iroh was eventually able to dress Zuko, after he ran full-speed into a tree, knocking himself out cold. As a precautionary measure, he then tied Zuko's hands and feet together and pulled him into their own tent.

As dawn broke, the gang awoke to the sound of Zuko whining and fidgeting inside his tent.

"Uncle," he fussed. "I hurts!"

"I know, Zuko, just give me a moment to get dressed and I'll untie you," Iroh replied wearily. As soon as he was unbound and dressed, Zuko bolted out of the tent and down to a nearby stream.

"Oooooh, shinies," he cooed, wading into the water. Grinning, he plunged his face into the water. He opened and closed his mouth, imitating the fish swimming by. As water began pouring down his throat, he attempted to cough, and succeeded only in making his situation worse. Panicked, he flapped his arms, splashing the surface of the water, but still his head remained submerged. Sighing, Iroh approached the stream and grabbed a hank of hair on the back of Zuko's head, pulling him upright. Zuko gasped and coughed, and Iroh led his sputtering nephew back to camp where Katara bent the rest of the water out of Zuko's lungs. He coughed again and sat up, catching his breath, and turning towards Katara.

"I love you, pretty girl," he said, licking her face in gratitude. Katara cringed and wiped her face off vigorously.

"I don't know how much more of this I can handle," Sokka groaned as Zuko chased Momo around the campsite. "He's going to get us killed because he doesn't know enough to sit down and shut up!"

"Do not worry," Iroh assured him. "When we resume traveling, I have just the thing to keep him occupied..."

No one seemed to notice as the Prince of the Fire Nation wandered the streets with his uncle and a band of kids, swatting at a polished rock just out of his reach, which was tied to a string, which was tied to a stick, which was tied to his head. 


End file.
